When looking at diversity and communication it is important
to view how each of us communicates towards a child. At times when a child says
something that is not politically correct, adults usually just try to hush the
child before anyone else can hear what the child said. During that time, it is
a teachable moment that needs to be embraced. I know I am guilty for not using
that time wisely as well.
I have been a nanny most summers for various families. One
summer I was a nanny to these adorable little boys. Their ages were 3 and 5.
Sometimes we had to go places that were not very entertaining for them because
of errands I had to do or some that their parents left. Once I had to drop off
a paper for the older boy’s Boy Scout troop. In line ahead of us was a lady
that was bigger boned and was not as feminine looking as the boy’s mother. The
younger boy shouted, “Is that a lady or man because it has a mustache but is
wearing heels. I thought you were either a boy or girl not in-betweens.” I was
mortified and told the little boy to please be quiet and it’s not nice to talk
about others in a negative way. His response to that was, “it’s not bad I just
don’t understand”. I then gave him a look that communicated to be quiet and he
was.
The message that I could have been communicating to this
child was that it is not okay to ask questions if you do not understand something.
I could have also communicated that it is not okay to speak one’s mind. I also
never answered the question about the difference between men and women or if there
is a third gender which also could confuse him. Overall, I did not do a good
job handling the situation and did not follow up with the child about this episode.
I did tell his parents about it, but also did not follow up with them about
their exposure and their conversation they had with him.
How an anti-bias educator might have responded to support
the child understanding would be to say that it does not matter what gender a
person is, because everyone is special and has special characteristics. I could
of even said people are all made different and it is important not to say
something that could make someone else not feel good about themselves. I could
of also focused on maybe saying the positives about the person. Following up
with literature is also a great way for early childhood children to understand
concepts so a library trip could have been very useful.
Overall, I now know how to act in a more positive manner and
use those teachable moments to help benefit all children.
Hi Abigail, thank you for your very honest portrayal of the situation. I think it reflects accurately what happens to most people in similar situations. To me this clearly indicates the lack of knowledge and comfort level we all experience at some stage when we are confronted by such situations where we do not know how to respond appropriately. This only serves to further highlight the necessity and value of anti-bias education in our schools. I think you are right in identifying those moments as teachable moments. If only all adults were empowered, able to support the learning of children compassionately, respectfully and in an informed way, so much bias could be avoided in life (Harro, 2008).
ReplyDeleteReference:
Harro, R. (2008) Readings for diversity and social justice: The cycle of liberation Figure 7.1 on p. 53 Retrieved from: https://class.waldenu.edu/bbcswebdav/institution/USW1/201360_02/MS_MECS/EDUC_6357/Week%206/Resources/Resources/embedded/educ6357-harro-fig7-1.pdf
Abigail, I have to admit I did have to chuckle at your experience! "It has a mustache, but wearing heels" was side wrenching! I applaud the fact that you recognized your own faults in this scenario. We are all human and there will be many instances where we as early childhood professionals will not know exactly how to respond appropriately in certain situations. We just have to learn from our mistakes and work towards doing better the next go round. Thank you so much for sharing! I bet you had an incredible, interesting summer that year!
ReplyDeleteYour story was so truthful and honest about how you handled the situation, I’m not sure I would have known what to do either. We need to remember that young children really don’t know any better until we teach them. I love the way the child described the person! Sitting down and talking with our children is the best way to work through any situation and we need to also not be embarrassed about the differences people have. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI actually did something like this as a child! My mother was so embarrassed.
I agree that a library trip and conversation could have been useful in both our situations.