This week I was observing an adult and child interaction.
I was at grocery store this weekend and saw a women with 3 children, all of
which looked young enough to be under five. What I noticed was all of them
crying at one point, telling their mom no when she asked them to stop, and the
mom trying to put the children in the cart. She was very sympathetic to the
children and did not yell at any of them once, for behavior or as punishment.
What I would have done to make the communication more
affirming and effective was to first make sure that I was using appropriate
kinds of language. For this outing I would be using language that encourages children
through specific feedback about the groceries they were buying and why; and
this also extends the children’s language (Stephenson, 2009). I would also
think about the power in the conversation. There was a power struggle between
the children and the mom and none of the parties were winning. “Children tend
to actively participate in conversations that they initiate, that are relevant
to them, and that invite reciprocal exchanges” (Stephenson, 2009). By balancing
the power struggle and giving the children an opportunity to express themselves
the behaviors would not have happened because there was no reason if they felt
needed and engaged.
The communication interactions I observed may have also
affected the child’s feelings of self worth. Without their ideas and input
along with respect from the mother, they felt unneeded and might not have been receiving
the attentions that they wanted. Children like to be listened to and feel
valued. “Children are more eager to spend time with an adult who is keen to
listening to them” (Rainer & Durden, 2010). If children are eager to spend
time with an adult a behavior meltdown might also not happen because the adult
is engaging and the child has fun with them.
This experience has offered me insights on how the
adult-child communication compares to the ways in which I communicate with
children by reassuring that by listening to children and engaging them in
conversation it is easier to help the child feel safe as well as help build
their self worth. Through communication children also can express what they
know and the information can be used as a formative assessment. I can improve
my communication with children by making sure that I am using clear language
that extends children’s learning, encourages feedback, and connects to children’s lives.
Hello Abigail,
ReplyDeleteI tend to see this type of scenario often. It's crazy to think that some parents don't know how to control their children, especially in public. Some parents don't like to discipline their children in public and then they get stepped all over and taken advantage of by the children. I'm one of those parents that like to discipline in a positive way and I do it while the children remember what they are getting in trouble for so we can have a discussion about it. I like the suggestions you mentioned above on making sure communication would have been more effective. I really love the last paragraph in your blog! Enjoyed reading it!
Abigail,
ReplyDeleteMy observation also took place in a grocery store. There are usually very many opportunities for adult/child interactions in stores! I totally agree with the idea of you improving your communication with children by using language that children understand that also encourages feedback, and especially connecting to what is happening in children's lives. I am also going to use this same practice to improve my communication skills. Great post, thank you for sharing!
I really enjoyed reading your observation this week; I think the mother should have talked more with the children about why they were upset. It is hard to discipline children in public in today’s times because everyone is always putting their two cents into the interactions between others. Many parents are afraid to even raise their voice for fear of someone reporting them for abuse or something else. We must always remember to talk to our children calmly and at their level and being the parents do what you feel is best. Great job on your observation!
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