Professional Thanks

I would like to thank all my colleagues that have been on this journey through learning how to foster effective communication during this class. I wish all of you great happiness professionally and personally and hope that your communication tactics only became stronger during this class.

Team Development

This week I read about the five stages of team development. The five stages are forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning. As I think about all the teams and groups that I have been involved with, I focus on the adjourning phase. This is when the project comes to an end and the participants move to different projects. Some teams it was very easy to leave because of the other four factors in the team not being strong, and to be honest, I do not know how we survived to the adjourning stage. Some groups and teams it was very hard to leave because of how strong the other four phases where and the passionate and goals that were accomplished by the team. One group that was very hard to break apart from was cohorts during my student teaching. As a team we had a tight bond for four years and had to leave because we all accomplished a goal together which was completing student teaching and receiving our degrees. These are the people that I would study with, eat with, and complete group projects with. These are the people that I grew with during my undergraduate years. Graduation was a very nice closing ritual that also helped me transition to a new part of my life while still holding the memories close. I imagine that I will adjourn from my group of colleagues that I have formed while working in my master’s program is somewhat the same manner, but less intensive. These people I have grown with professionally and have worked with to complete a goal and it will be hard to say goodbye, but the relationships do not have to end after the degree is completed which is comforting. The adjourning stage is essential because of its importance of closer and celebration of reaching a goal. Without the adjourning stage, nothing in this world could ever get accomplished. This is why I feel that this stage in team development is the most bittersweet stage.

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Disagreements and Conflicts

Disagreements and conflicts are experienced in everyone lives. They can be with a supervisor, colleague, or someone personal in your life. This week I reflected on strategies that I have learned that can help me manage and resolve conflicts more productively.

The first strategy I choose was “Getting to Yes” (Billikopf 2009). This strategy helps people identify the needs and focus on them rather than others positions. I feel that by making sure the conflict is aligned with the needs of all parties, and then the conflict should resolve itself. It is hard when times are tough to focus on actual purpose than get wrapped up in how the others are talking and the negative aspects of communication they might be using. This strategy could also show broader ranges of solutions. When people are working together for a common purpose than against each other for what goal they want, more gets accomplished and the communication becomes more productive.

The second strategy I choose was to involve a third party. Using a third party could also be very beneficial in the work environment. A third party makes sure that everyone is on task and working towards a common goal and not badgering or being negative towards the other parties. The only issue with using a third party is making sure that they are not bias and will hold their own opinions and feelings towards individuals inside. A third party is also good at coming up with a compromise for the parties and looking for more solutions that are possible.

Nonviolent communication and the 3 R’s are also a good way to make sure that communication from you is proper and not harmful to another. By understanding disagreements and conflicts and receiving knowledge about different strategies, they should be solved in a peaceful and productive way.

Billikopf, G. (2009, August). Conflict management skills. Retrieved from http://cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/13.htm

Communication Week 4

This week I had the opportunity to evaluate myself as a communicator. I also had two other people evaluate me who were my husband and a coworker. From this exercise I noticed that I scored myself lower in all areas than others. This gave me the insight that others see me as a more confident communicator and listener that I view myself as being. I am surprised by this, but it a good way. By taking these tests it has also shown me my areas of weakness and how to help improve these skills. By improving these skills it will make me not only a better communicator personally, but for the early childhood education field and most importantly for my students. One insight I would like to share is that my personality traits and listening skills put me in the category of trusting individuals. This is positive in a way that I am able to see through stereotypes and other racial characteristics but negative in a way that once a person is untrustworthy I tend to lose my relationship with them. This affects my personal life much more, but professionally this is important to note when dealing with coworkers and other people involved in the education field. By understanding all different listening styles and not writing people off so fast for losing my trust, I will be able to make more concrete relationships. A second aspect I would like to share is that I am more verbally aggressive towards adults than children. I need to keep this is mind when dealing with adults so that my communication is precise and shows empathy for them, their ideas, and does not harm them in any way. I feel that I pretty understanding with all people, but to be aware of this will only help me gage my communication better. I am glad I was able to evaluate my communication and others rated me very nicely as well. By taking these tests I have become a more confident communicator. 

Communication

I feel that in different contexts, people communicate differently. This is just how we are biologically and socially “trained” to do. There is a difference for example on when I talk to my students between my parents and between my coworkers. Each group of individuals need to be given different communication tactics to best understand what the message is. For example, if I was to talk to the three groups mentioned above about a natural disaster here is what I might say to each:

Students: I know many of you have heard what happened in XXX. Where we live there are things that can happen to us that we cannot control, but we have ways to keep us safe. Does anyone know what are some of the ways that we stay safe during a XXX?

My Parents: I cannot believe what happened in XXX. It is crazy to think that something that seems so harmless can hurt so many people.

Coworkers: I am glad that you have been watching the news as well about XXX. Do you know any more information about the topic? What are the students saying in your room about it?

Within each type of people the formality of the conversation changes and the structure changes as well. I feel these needs to happen to give each group the best message possible. I also know that people talk to me differently. An example of this would be when I am in school parent’s talk to me very formally. When I see parents out of the school setting some are more relaxed.

Within every context and groups of people communication will always vary depending on the relationship, age, and culture of the individual’s. 

Communication is Not Always Straight Forward

Communication skills and styles vary depending on culture, gender, and context. This week I watched a television show that I do not normally watch with the sound off first and then with the sound on. Between the two observations of the same show, I was granted different ideals about characters’ relationships, feelings, and expression.

The TV show: Gypsy Sister’s
Episode: When Mellie Gets Married

Sounds off:
With just relying on mostly nonverbal cues I feel that each character has aggression within them. There is fighting, yelling, and people storming off. Nettie and Mellie are sisters but do not have a “typical” relationship between sisters. They yell at each other during the dress making process and are shown arguing throughout the show multiple times. Nettie and her children seem to have a close bond because they are always together. It seems that she is very open with her children because they are shown in scenes when there is fighting and during scenes that might be called “inappropriate” by popular standards. Mellie’s relationship with her husband does not seem so secure. They also fight a lot and are not shown together and being “loving”. Physical contact is not made between them much and neither is eye contact. During the wedding when Mellie is crying down the aisle and getting upset I sense that she does not want to marry her husband but goes through with it for what I believe is family pressure.

Sound on:
Mellie and Nettie’s relationship is not a “typical” sister relationship because of their age difference. Their mother was in prison when Mellie was a young adult which cause Nettie to become more of a mother figure. Nettie is upset with Mellie for her behavior that is not part of their culture and family traditions. Mellie and Nettie are close and do love each other which is stated throughout the show. Nettie’s children are always with her because she is the primary caregiver and some of the children are also her grandchildren. It is typical for gypsy women to marry young and have children at young ages as well making it more acceptable in their family culture to interact differently to such a span of ages. Mellie is ready to marry her husband, but did have hesitations before the wedding. During the wedding she was not having mixed feelings for the groom but was aggravated from her dress, bridal party, and other various factors.

I feel that my assumptions would have been more correct if it was a TV show that I knew well because I would have a background of previous relationships and typical behaviors from individuals. I have learned that communication needs to be both verbal and nonverbal to receive an accurate understanding of every situation.

Communication of Others

This week I am looking at someone who demonstrates competent communication. I choose to talk about my father because he is the best communicator that I know. What makes his exhibit great communication skills is his understanding of others and how he portrays himself verbally and non-verbally  My father understands others and knows what to say and what not to say. He is able to decipher a person’s personality in a simple conversation and understand how to best communicate with a person. My father also sends out great nonverbal communication tactics by having eye contact, his posture, and nodding throughout conversations. He is the person that taught me about nonverbal techniques that send out negative vibes as well. I do and will continue to model my own communication behaviors after him because I know his communication skills have made him successful in his career, friends, and a valued family member.